The message Marie-Aude:
Alexander, my grandson, is four years old and a very little sister, Sara. He came to my home late yesterday with his parents and Sara. Since a few months, I see him change and become "unbearable" (it's a very big word, but, it really expresses what the whole family feels, alas ...) I love my grandson who reminds me, in this behavior, his father, this son that I did not always understand ...
With age, I analyze the situation better and feel a pain behind the way of being of Alexander, with his entourage. Her little sister is taking more and more space, she has been walking since last week, and I think that Alexandre wants to disobey his parents by keeping an important place. So, we take care of him, he is the center of his little world. We are talking about him!
Only understanding is not solving. What should I do? How to act? I see very little Alexander (I am a very active grandmother). I'm afraid to intervene with parents, who may not understand my language. Having them read your words might help them.
A worried grandmother
Jacques Salomé's opinion:
A worried grandmother is a grandmother who, somewhere, is expelled either as a child or as a child of her own. children! Thank you for your trust and especially for your enthusiasm for human relations.
1) Better management of the territories
I think you have grasped the essence of the situation with Alexander. What we could hear is that parents should be helped to better manage the territories.
His sister Sara seems to be invading a lot of space (in addition to emotional space) and seriously competing with her brother's one ...
2) I offer you a short story to read to Alexander
I invite you to read it only to him, for I write it for him.
The tale of the little eagle who needed a corner of heaven for himself.
Once upon a time there was a little eagle who lived with his family in a large nest at the top of a mountain. And I do not know if you know, but the little eagle needs a lot, a lot of space to grow, take his place and learn to fly, to be able to spread his wings without constraint. But when her parents had another child, a small eagle, very alive and that it began to learn to fly, then there the little eagle who was called, I forgot to tell you Drexanlexa, felt that it was not going at all, but really no longer.
As soon as her parents had cared for her sister when she was a baby, they were still kissing her, showing her and feeling that there was a lot going on for her.As he was very brave and proud to be great, he accepted without much fuss. But today, when he saw his sister who was starting to fly, to go everywhere, to touch his stuff, to really take up a lot of space, there he did not agree at all!
Then he decided in his eagle's head, which was small but full of ideas, that he had to show himself, to manifest himself, to draw the attention of his parents for good to show that he also existed, and above all, that he needed a space of his own, just for himself. He began with some nonsense, and as this forced his parents to take care of him, he began again. I told you that the nest of his parents was big, but in fact what he really wanted is that we install for example a large mosquito net above his bed - to mark his territory. To show that there he was at home, he could play underneath without being disturbed.
He also wanted his parents to teach his sister not to enter his room without his permission. However, I must tell you, a little eagle whose wings grow every day, must not bump into the others without stopping! Moreover, in full flight, at high altitude, if Drexanlexa bumped into his sister learning to fly, imagine the disaster! It's as if two planes collide ... We see this on TV sometimes! And since Drexanlexa has a grandmother, she could talk to him about her son, who also when he was a kid ... but I leave it to Grandma to do it, herself.
Thus ends the tale of the little eagle who found that his sister took up a lot of space and who dared not say it too much for fear of no longer being loved by his parents.
Yours in this way of life,
Resource book: Tales to heal, tales to grow (Editions Albin Michel.)